Divine Truth YouTube update

Mary has announced on her blog that she and Jesus are now filming a new series called “Emotions and Feelings.” This series will include answers to questions about fear that she recently invited on her blog.

The series has started with general Q&As about emotions and a recap of material from the “How the Human Soul Functions” series. Some clips are already up on the Divine Truth FAQ YouTube channel. Mary recommends watching this new series in conjunction with the “How the Human Soul Functions” series, which provides a lot of context.

The new interviews are:

20140409 How the Human Soul Functions, S02
20140415 How the Human Soul Functions, S03P01 and S03P02

These are in the Divine Truth channel in the Human Soul playlist. The clips that are now on the FAQ channel are:

1. Introductory comments for all Emotion & Feelings sessions
2. How do I deal with fear while going through physical pain?
3. I feel emotionally blocked. Is it a matter of time before tears finally come?
4. I often know the emotion I must feel, but how do I feel it?
5. Can darker emotions cause us to take impure actions?
6. Why do we wish to avoid our dark emotions?
7. I feel I am not receiving God’s Love. Why is this? Where do I start?
8. I control others through shame. I try to change. Why do my actions stay the same?
9. How can I release suppressed anger of many years? How can I get past this huge block?

Mary and Jesus are also completing their discussion of R. J. Lees’ book Through the Mists, and later in the year they will probably commence discussion of Lees’ The Life Elysian. Mary is inviting questions about the last three chapters of Through the Mists or anything about The Life Elysian. Questions can be emailed to her at mary@divinetruth.com, and she asks that you indicate the chapter involved and include a reference to the text that triggered the question. Lees’ books can be downloaded for free from the Divine Truth website (www.divinetruth.com) in the Downloads – Book Discussions section.

The discussions for Chapter 15 and Chapter 16 of Through the Mists are on YouTube now, in the Divine Truth channel in the Through the Mists playlist.

2013 Assistance Group cancelled

The Assistance Group that was to take place in October 2013 in Texas has been cancelled. Below is the email that Mary sent yesterday to people who had signed up.

————————–

Hi there,

Unfortunately we have had to cancel our contract with CYJ Texas (the venue we were planning to use for the USA 2014 Divine Truth Assistance Group). Continue Reading

Book suggestion: Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, by Kenneth M. Adams, PhD

Covert incest happens when a parent uses a child to fill emotional addictions. These abusive relationships are often not viewed as inappropriate in our society – such as a father treating a daughter as “his little princess” or a mother asking her son to be “the man of the house.” This type of abuse includes seemingly minor dysfunctions in family relationships, ranging up to include physically acted-out sexual incest (overt incest).

There is nothing loving about a close parent-child relationship when it services the needs and feelings of the parent rather than the child. “Feeling close” with your parents, particularly the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests. It is a relationship in which the individual, both as a child and later as an adult, feels silently seduced by the parent. Feelings of appreciation and gratitude do not prevail in these “close” relationships. Instead, they are a source of confusing, progressive rage.

Silently Seduced describes the varieties of covert incest, involving both daughter and sons and their mothers and fathers; why these relationships create burdens for the child that interfere with the child’s development and later functioning; and how the adult child of covert incest can heal the wounds.

The child’s core needs are not served. The child feels like an object, not a person. The real needs for love, nurturing, security, and trust are never met. Worse yet, the child is made to believe those needs are met. This is the essence of the damage in a covertly incestuous relationship, along with the trauma of that relationship being bound by inappropriate sexual energy. The reality of covert incest is hard to see clearly, which is why covert incest is so insidious and pervasive in an adult victim’s life.

Adams validates the injuries and suffering of children who were abused emotionally but not necessarily physically. Many covert incest survivors suffer in silence, accepting shame that is not their own. For myself, this state was paralyzing, as I constantly tried to identify and repent for my own faults and failures, when the truth was I needed to acknowledge and feel what was done TO me. I spent my life trying to repent and “fix” what was “wrong” with me – and getting nowhere – when what I needed to do was face and feel the anger, fear, pain, and abandonment that were actually in my childhood experiences. This book was a huge help in seeing the reality of my relationships with my parents and with later romantic partners.

As long as the child within is not allowed to become aware of what happened to him or her, a part of his or her emotional life will remain frozen … all appeals to love, solidarity, and compassion will be useless.

– Alice Miller

Adams gives a list of common characteristics of silent seduction. It’s important to remember that the gender roles can be different, e.g., a father can commit covert incest with a son, and a mother can covertly incest her daughter – so “opposite sex” and “same sex” might be inaccurate here:

– a love-hate relationship with the opposite-sex parent
– emotional distance from the same-sex parent
– guilt and confusion over personal needs
– feelings of inadequacy
– multiple relationships
– difficulty with commitment, and hasty commitments
– regret over past relationships (“maybe it could have worked”)
– sexual dysfunction
– other compulsions and addictions

Adams describes in detail how the emotional injuries from covert incest can explain later patterns of:

– caretaking and pleasing
– narcissism
– living in romantic fantasies
– promiscuity, seductiveness, being a “ladies’ man,” sex addictions
– ambivalence about commitment
– chronic dissatisfaction in relationships but being unable to leave
– feeling trapped in relationships and running away
– longing for affairs
– addictions to food, comfort, being provided for, self-improvement, and others

Huge thanks to Lawrence Bakur for recommending this book on Facebook. Another, similar book is The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life, by Dr. Patricia Love. I have read only little bits of the second book, as it didn’t draw me as much as Adams’. Mary has told me she found Dr. Love’s more helpful, and she is recommending both books.)

book suggestion: Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody

Five and a half years ago I married a lovely man named Peter and moved to his beautiful and magical farm/homestead in eastern Arizona. It felt like a miracle – all at the same time, I gained a doting husband, the home of my dreams, work where I felt useful and needed, and – I believed – security in all these things.

A year and a half later, I first encountered AJ and his teachings. As I have taken in more and more Divine Truth, I have begun to question and deconstruct the entire shape of my life – where I’m living, who I’m living with, and how I spend my time every day. With regard to my marriage, I have been confronting my own addictions and fears and asking what led me into and keeps me in this relationship. Is it love, or something else?

I have heard AJ tell some other women – who were, I thought, going through relationship issues similar to mine – that they needed to open their hearts to their husbands, and in fact that their husbands actually loved them. At the beginning of the Texas retreat, I asked AJ and Mary about my own marriage, and lo and behold they didn’t tell me anything like what I’d heard them say to these other women. Instead, they told me I need to focus on discovering and engaging my own desires, and to pray to know the truth about my relationship. They said, then I would know how I want to go forward. My inner response when they said this to me was something like, What, don’t I get to be told my husband loves me?

Actually, my guides had been even more blunt. A few months earlier, they’d said, “What are you willing to give up in your soul to have a roof over your head?” But I’d hoped that was just coming from the medium’s injuries!

Why didn’t AJ and Mary say something nicer about our relationship, which I was sure had a lot of love in it? Definitely I already knew that Peter and I do a lot of exchanging in practical ways in our daily lives – he chops the firewood and I do the cooking, he cobbles my shoes and I knit his sweaters. But I really felt that, along with that, I love my husband and he loves me!

During the Texas retreat I did pray to know the truth, and opened my heart a little bit to the possibility that there might be a lot more addiction than I was aware of in our marriage … that what feels to me, and to Peter, like love and affection … might not be love and affection. In other conversations, AJ told me that there’s actually a lot of attack and manipulation in Peter’s treatment of me – all of which is VERY hard for me to perceive.

It’s been a bit over a week now since the Texas retreat ended. During this time I’ve processed enough fear and addiction to realize that I really don’t feel like going home, and if and when I do, I want to re-ground my marriage … if it is to continue … in strict truth and love.

Reading this book, Facing Love Addiction, has helped me come to this place.

Love Addicts and Love Avoidants

Pia Mellody is a therapist in the area of addictions and childhood trauma. In this book she describes two modes of behavior in relationships (they don’t have to be romantic relationships – could be a workplace relationship or student-teacher, etc.). One, the “Love Addict,” “is someone who is dependent on, enmeshed with, and compulsively focused on taking care of another person.” The other, the “Love Avoidant,” fears and avoids closeness but takes care of needy people out of a belief that it is his or her “job.” Pia Mellody says that the same person can be both a Love Addict and a Love Avoidant, and I see myself, as well as my husband, in both modes. In both cases, the partners feel compelled to take care of the other. It seems that whether a particular person who has this compulsion is a “Love Addict” or a “Love Avoidant” can change depending on the situation and what emotions are being triggered.

Codependence = lack of self-love

What’s more interesting and helpful in this book, though, is where it aligns with Jesus and Mary’s teachings about relationships, codependence, and addictions. In the YouTube FAQ on “what would my love of myself move me to do for myself?” Mary says, “The key to not being codependent yourself is to love yourself,” and that few people recognize this. Facing Love Addiction does. Pia Mellody describes codependence completely in terms of “a bruised relationship with the self” in which the person has the following symptoms:

1. Difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, that is to say, difficulty loving the self.
2. Difficulty setting functional boundaries with other people, that is to say, difficulty protecting oneself.
3. Difficulty owning one’s own reality appropriately, that is to say, difficulty identifying who one is and knowing how to share that appropriately with others.
4. Difficulty addressing interdependently one’s adult needs and wants, that is to say, difficulty with self-care [we would say self-responsibility].
5. Difficulty experiencing and expressing one’s reality in moderation, that is to say, difficulty being appropriate for one’s age and various circumstances. [Not quite sure what she means by this, but it might have to do with learning not to project emotion?]

Then there are five “secondary symptoms” of codependence, which are:

1. Negative control – telling others who they ought to be, or allowing others to tell the codependent who he/she should be
2. Resentment – where the codependent feels victimized and uses anger to protect her/himself and get a feeling of power and self-esteem.
3. Impaired spirituality – where the codependent makes another person their Higher Power (God) or tries to be another person’s Higher Power. Amazing to see AJ’s point that we often make another person our God, echoed here in a popular self-help book!
4. Addictions – see below
5. Difficulty with intimacy – Since codependents don’t have a clear idea who they are (personal truth), they cannot share that truth with others.

Addictions as symptoms of codependence

Pia Mellody’s description of how addictions are secondary symptoms of codependence is interesting, so I’ll quote the two paragraphs in full:

Our ability to face reality is directly related to our ability to have a healthy relationship with ourself, which means loving the self, protecting the self, identifying the self, caring for the self, and moderating the self. Living out of such a healthy, centered relationship with the self allows us to face the reality of who we are, who others are, who the Higher Power in our lives is, and the reality of our current situation. Developing these abilities and perceptions is the core of recovery from codependence. But when we do not acquire a functional internal relationship and sense of adequacy, the pain that results inside of us and in our relationships with others and with our Higher Power often leads us into an addictive process to alleviate the pain quickly.

I suggest, therefore, that a person with an addiction is probably also a codependent; and conversely, a codependent most likely has one or more addictive or obsessive/compulsive processes. This secondary symptom, then, is the primary link between codependence and any other addiction – particularly love addiction. While experiencing the often unrecognized internal pain for the failure of the relationship with the self, and blaming others for this failure, the Love Addict turns to a certain kind of close relationship, believing the other person can and should soothe the Love Addict’s internal pain through giving unconditional love and attention and taking care of the Love Addict.

Treating codependence first

Pia Mellody suggests that the codependence has to be treated before the love addiction is treated, because “a Love Addict with insufficiently treated codependence [i.e. lack of love of self] is virtually unable to recognize the dynamics of love addiction, or to abstain from the addictive parts of the relationship and endure the withdrawal process.” I can testify to that.

She goes on to write, “Love addiction, therefore, is an addiction that often becomes visible to the codependent only after some work has been done on the core symptoms of codependence. Addressing love addiction can be emotionally very destabilizing because the resistance to facing the denial and delusion around this condition is particularly strong.”

Where I’m at

Myself, I continue to feel that when I am at home, with my husband, I am under a spell, where it’s practically impossible for me to see that my marriage and our life together isn’t beautiful and loving. The moments when I can see through that feel extremely, tearing-guts-out painful (although more recently I’ve also begun to feel the hope and excitement of liberation).

More and more – from a safe distance here in Texas – I am able to remember and have Faith in the Truth about what Love is, and act from that Faith (through Will and Desire) by writing emails to Peter that tell him where I’m at, lovingly and directly. But when I speak to him on the phone, I drop right back into the spell – addiction and fear. I compulsively tell him I love him and want to hear those words back. In the moments when I’m interacting with Peter, the pain of not maintaining the illusion of love is so horrible, and my reaction to the pain feels automatic.

As I work through this it is helping to remind myself of how strong the grip of an addiction can be. I have had a lot of struggle just to disengage from coffee and from carbohydrates. I can’t expect the temptation to stay engaged in the illusions of my relationship to be any less powerful and hard to break. I feel like I’ll have to do something like what Odysseus did when he sailed near the Sirens – had his crew tie him to the mast so he wouldn’t try to swim to them (many men had drowned doing that!). Of course, this addiction will be very very hard to break until I’ve worked on the underlying lack of self-love, childhood beliefs that lead me to associate this addiction with love, and the core emotions that I’m using this addiction to avoid.

I’ll end by quoting two more good paragraphs from the book.

It is often said that we are either addicts or codependents; but I believe that most of us are addict-codependents, experiencing addictions to relieve the pain of our untreated codependence. When we enter relationships, some of us are likely to do so as Love Addicts seeking to calm the pain arising from the root problem: untreated symptoms of codependence. We wind up with relationships that are painful, but that are almost impossible to leave because they do relieve some of the pain of emptiness.

So, not all codependents are Love Addicts. Love Addicts turn to a person and to compulsive behavior within a relationship as a drug of choice for removing the pain of the difficulties in their relationship with themselves.

Water

Drinking a large amount of water every day is helpful on this path, for a lot of reasons. It helps us feel our own and others’ emotions, helps us connect to our spirit friends and receive Divine Love, and helps keep our bodies healthy as we process through emotions.

In February 2011, when AJ and Mary visited Athens, Greece, they talked with the audience about water. Mary had channelled information from the spirit guides and guardians of the people in the group, about how they could get in better contact with their spirit friends. Drinking lots of water was their first recommendation, and AJ explained why. AJ also described other benefits of drinking large amounts of water and gave some tips for selecting water to drink and taking natural salt to help our bodies process the water.

This material is from the video 20120211 Spirit Relationships – Connecting to Your Spirit Friends, starting at 1:13:23. I’ve edited it slightly and rearranged it a bit by topic.

How much water to drink

Mary: The very first thing they said to me, and they say this to me often, is that it’s very important to stay hydrated, to drink plenty of water. Plain water.
AJ: Not flavored, not tea, not coffee, not alcohol!
Mary: Just water. And they told me that I need to drink at least three liters a day.
AJ: At least. For a woman, at least three liters a day, for a man, even more. Four liters, at times my guides have told me six liters a day, where I was going through different things – six liters.
Mary: When you’re processing a lot, they said it’s got to be more. I don’t know if you’ve done some heavy processing, but whenever I do, I always just drink so much more, anyway.
AJ: If you analyze how much you drink in day, most people would only drink one to two liters a day, if that. Many less than that. As soon as I get up, I drink one to two liters – as soon as I get up. The moment I wake up, down goes two liters of water. It’s pretty easy to do once you get used to it. And in fact, your body hungers for it after a while. You actually find your body longing for that amount of water, the instant that you get up. And this is a part of what will happen. As you get more and more connected with your guides, you will definitely want to drink more water.

Water and connecting with our spirit friends

AJ: As you know, seventy percent or so of your body is water. Also in the spirit world, seventy or more percent of a spirit person’s body is water. It’s just in a different form, it’s in a gaseous form rather than a liquid form. It’s like vapor. If they are going to communicate with you, it makes sense that water is going to have to be at the same level for good communication to take place. If you think about it, in a practical way, sound travels through water much better than sound travels through air. Much faster. It travels at a much higher speed through water than it does through air. And therefore with much more clarity. So even if they attempt to speak with you so that you can hear it, if you’re well hydrated, the sound will travel better and with more clarity, even if it’s to do with speaking. But the way many spirits also speak with you is through your emotions.

Effect of water on feeling emotions

AJ: To feel your own emotions, you need to have lots of hydration. You need to drink water so that you can feel yourself better. And when you feel yourself better – because all of our emotions are actually conducted through the moisture in our body – if you can feel yourself better, then you can feel spirits around you better. And if you can feel spirits around you better, then you can feel what their intentions are and what their desires are better. If you don’t drink water, you stop this ability of being able to conduct emotions, or even feel your own emotions, but also the ability to conduct emotions to others through the moisture that’s in your body. And it’s very important to understand that, that your emotions are very much influenced by water.
Question: If you’re feeling some resistance to going into your emotions, would it assist to drink more water to help you go into your emotions more and to be in water or connect with water?
AJ: Yes, yes, yes. Particularly to drink more water. Because to drink more water, your body then is able to conduct emotions better. So it’s far better if you can drink higher amounts of water if you are resistive emotionally. Unfortunately, when we’re resistive emotionally, we have a high tendency to turn to carbohydrates and other foods, and we have a tendency to drink far less. So unfortunately, it’s a lot harder when we’re resistive to emotions to drink large amounts of water.

Love and water

AJ: Also, by the way, the emotion of love can highly influence water, more than any other substance. Many of you may have read about the different experiments that certain people have done in Japan and so forth, about how love influences the structure of water. [AJ is probably referring here to Masaru Emoto, the Japanese scholar who has been studying the effects of human consciousness on the molecular structure of water.] If a spirit is in a very high condition of love, can you see that water is the necessary part for him to conduct his love to you, for you to be able to sense or feel his love (or hers for that matter). If a spirit is in a very low condition, then they are less able to influence us when we have high amounts of hydration, for exactly the same reasons. Because, the higher the condition of love, the more water we have in our body, the easier it is for love to influence our body. In a lower condition of hydration, the harder it is for love to influence our body, and so therefore darker emotions can influence our body more easily. Can you see the relationship? So water is really really important.
Question: And, you were talking about the lower level spirits, are they less likely to be hydrated, or are their spirit bodies the same …?
AJ: They drink far less water, yes.
Question: Is the same true of Divine Love, to receive Divine Love?
AJ:Yes. We are far more conductive to receiving Divine Love when we are well hydrated, yes.

Bicarbonates in water

AJ: And by the way, you won’t like some water, either. Some waters have high bicarbonates in them. I’ve noticed here in Greece much of your bottled water has very high levels of bicarbonates, and it makes the water taste quite funny sometimes. You need to go for water that has very low levels of bicarbonates in it. A lot of the bicarbonates are 250 parts per million, and it’s very very high, and you can actually taste it in the water. If you go for lower than 70, and there is some water that you can buy, even here, that’s lower than 20. If it’s lower than 70 you will actually enjoy the water more, your body will enjoy the water more, and it will actually be easier to drink higher amounts of water, as a result. I just find it interesting – I’m noticing more and more that bottled water is containing higher and higher carbonate levels. And there are certain medical reasons why people are doing that, but unfortunately none of them benefit your body, I feel. When you have low carbonate levels in the water it feels much better to the body, and also your taste buds enjoy it far more, as well. Fresh rainwater is the best, delicious.

Water and mineral intake

Question:It is said a lot of water can cause problems to the kidneys, have the opposite effect, that’s what medicine dictates now. I know it because my grandfather has an issue with kidneys.
AJ: There is a theory in a lot of medicine that if you drink too much water – and in fact, in practice, you can drink too much water. However, it’s to do with the soluble salts in your body, as to what happens when you drink too much water. So as long as you keep up your mineral intake, and the way to do that the best is by having a natural salt of some kind. So rather than using salt that is highly refined, you get a salt like Himalayan salt or something like that, that has a whole variety of eighty or so minerals in it, and whenever you have salt during the day, you use that kind of salt, rather than a competely demineralized salt. And if you do that and still drink large amounts of water, you will not have any problems. As I said, I drink four to five liters of water every single day, and I don’t have any problems with any of those kind of things.
Mary: It seems to me to be a relationship between how much you are processing your emotion as well, though. If you aren’t emotionally open, I think you could overdo the water.

Releasing toxins

AJ: The more you emotionally process, the more toxins are getting released into your bloodstream, because your body holds onto the toxins while you’re holding onto the emotions. As you release the emotions, your body now needs to clear these toxins out of its system, and water the best possible way for your body to clear toxins out of your system. So while I was doing a lot of emotional processing work, my spirit friends wanted me to drink six liters of water every day, and I found that really easy to do, actually, as well. It was really easy to do. Two liters went as soon as I got up, and then it was only four liters for the rest of the day, and that was very very easy to do. The less you emotionally process, the less water you will need to clear away toxins, but if you want to stay connected with your spirit friends, you need to drink three liters of water whether you have toxins in your body or not.

Praying over our water

Question: Is it a good idea to, not bless your water, but send it a lot of love before you drink it?
AJ: Any prayer for love of anything is going to help it, certainly. However, in the end it doesn’t change the chemical composition of the water you’re drinking. So if the water you’re drinking has high bicarbonate levels, for example, praying about your water is not going to lower the bicarbonate levels. It may help the structure of the water in terms of beneficial to your body, but in terms of your taste buds, you’re probably still going to taste it much the same and therefore not want to drink it as much.

Bicarbonate levels in bottled waters

It seems that some people look for water with high bicarbonate levels because this suggests that the water is alkaline and will help to keep the body alkaline. AJ seems not to support this idea as being healthy.

I did a little bit of Internet research and found the following information about bicarbonate levels in bottled water:

  • The highest in bicarbonate levels seem to be the more expensive imported waters: Gerolsteiner has 1816 ppm, Evian 360 ppm, San Pellegrino 239 ppm, and Fiji 150 ppm.
  • The less expensive waters seem to have a lot less bicarbonates. According to the corporate websites: Arrowhead 81.1 ppm, Calistoga 22 ppm, Ozarka (drinking water) 27-32 ppm, Pure Life (purified water) 14-34 ppm, Pure Life (sparkling water) 15-67 ppm, Deer Park (natural spring water) 2.8-180 ppm, Deer Park (sparkling water) up to 59 ppm.

I feel it’s important to consider the source of the water as well. Many of the popular brands contain water from public taps, which is then filtered, distilled, disinfected, and/or UV treated. I feel that all this processing creates water that is not very healthy for us to drink. City water sources can also contain traces of whatever goes into the water system, including pharmaceuticals, soaps, etc., and filtering may not completely remove them. However, this is just my personal opinion, and I would not be surprised if AJ disagreed about these being important considerations.

Divine Truth Retreat seminar notes – Monday’s session

Why don’t I want to know or feel my addictions?
– Makes me feel there is something wrong with me
– Angry about being told
– Avoiding gives me a feeling of control
– Desire to remain a victim
– I am right, God is wrong
– Feeling emotions is pointless

Our parents are constantly projecting fear and anger at us (as children), and we feel there is no end to it. So we felt, I need my addictions, to cope. Also in childhood, we can’t leave or avoid it, and when we try anger as a coping mechanism, we get abused. Any expression of protest causes rejection or violence. We learn that any expression of our emotions needs to be squashed.

We learn addictions as ways to reduce some of these feelings. These addictions are often in place by age 3. The only form of protest available is to feel the addictions of the parent and to feed these addictions.

We learned them before we were able to think. This is why our addictions feel so confusing to us. We weren’t learning to intellectualize, we were learning these addictive behaviors almost automatically.

Then in preschool we got additional controls that compounded the problem.

For the child, it WAS a matter of survival.

We continue to believe we’re a victim. As a child, we WERE.

We don’t want to be told to connect to our emotions because as a child every time we did that, we were crushed or abused.

The feelings that we had as a child are now held as BELIEFS. (such as, that feeling emotions will bring on attack, that they are endless, that we have no other way to cope than addictions, etc.)
We feel that everything AJ is saying to us about feelings is wrong!

We might feel the Divine Truth is great, we have a soul-based attraction, but we also feel hopeless. It would be good to FEEL this feeling of hopelessness.

Practically everyone has these basic feelings about emotions ingrained in them. That’s why seminars that tell us how to get our addictions met have audiences of thousands! The average person who does feel their feelings is put on medications, and wants to be!

We need to deconstruct these beliefs. This has to happen before we will be able to move our addictions.

We go into neediness wanting to have the work done for us.

We feel that our addictions are the only way we will have any good in our life. It’s not uncommon for people who work on their addictions to become suicidal, because they really feel there will no longer be any good in their life.

There was a comment about living from sleep state to sleep state, because we get our addictions met there, because there is nothing nice left in the awake state.

Suicide is an angry response to feeling hopeless. In fact it will make things worse. So when we know this, we feel trapped. Trapped between the Truth and these childhood beliefs, with no way out.

Addiction was the only thing that worked, to get some semblance of peace. Now AJ is taking that away.

God’s Way is the exact way we DON’T believe in! When we hear about it, there are two possible responses:
1. No, it’s not God’s Way, it’s AJ’s way – anger at AJ
2. Anger with God for creating this Way!

This is why we have so much anger with God and toward religion. People in religions want the work to be done magically – Jesus’s blood just takes it away, we don’t have to do the work. That’s the source of the belief in Jesus taking away our sins.

WE ALL HAVE THIS FEELING AND NEED TO FEEL IT THROUGH AND THEN WILL TRACE IT TO CHILDHOOD EVENTS. THIS IS WHERE EMOTIONAL PROCESSING BEGINS.

I DON’T WANT TO FEEL MY ADDICTIONS! AND WHY!

We don’t want to feel them because we feel that without them, we will have no way to have a happy life.

The belief that feeling emotions is dangerous clearly comes from our childhood – we received abusive violent punishment when we did.

We’ve also been taught we can’t cope with the emotions. So we try to get away from them, and this resistance lets in spirit influence which could then start to look psychotic, and reinforces the belief we can’t cope.

Also, some children were taken out of body during abuse, so they come to feel this is a way of coping. They invite more spirits in.

A fear of being alone when I feel, and a feeling of wanting to share my emotions, both invite others into your emotional experience and can lead to being institutionalized.

Now, what do we do to address this?

FAITH.

Currently:
We have faith in our addictions.
We have faith in the beliefs from our childhood, that we currently have: about emotions, about fear, about God.
We have faith in self-reliance.
We have faith in society’s definitions.
We have faith in our personal experience: I will get abused more if I feel, that being emotional is weak, etc.
We have faith in our mind, the power of the mind.

With faith in all that, our will will be exercised to support these. Humility will also be used toward absorbing more of these emotions (we are humble to the error rather than the truth). Wherever our faith is, it directs our will and our humility.

Where our faith is, is where we’re going to use our will and where we’re going to exercise our humility.

So, even if Divine Truth sounds good to us, our faith is telling us the opposite things. Someone who says the truth is different (to where our faith is) will seem to be an idiot.

We believe in THIS world (of error), and we feel disconnected from God because we feel he must have created it.

To change, we have to start deconstructing where we’re placing our faith. This is our primary problem.

We feel this effort is pointless and going to take forever and put us in conflict with the world – so we have very little motivation.

Then how do we do it?

We have these emotions about feeling our feelings:

  • That it’s hopeless/futile
  • That it’s dangerous
  • That it’s impossible
  • That it’s not necessary
  • That it’s cruel and wrong

We need to feel these feelings right to the end! Then we will not feel them any longer.

We get rid of our false beliefs by FEELING them. This is the opposite to what we want to do!

We feel our options are:

1. Feel pain
2. Feel “good”
3. Be numb

Our priorities usually are:

Feel pain: 0 … Feel “good”: 50% … Be numb: 50%

After we learn some Divine Truth, we tend to go:

Feel pain: 0 … Feel “good”: 0 … Be numb: 100%

We are going to have to feel uncomfortable and feel pain to confront addictions!

When we want to feel good, we attract spirits and people to help us do that.

When we allow ourselves to be numb, we attract spirits and people who take over our life.

We believe pain is the most dangerous option, but is is really the least dangerous.

We continue to think and feel as children, because we haven’t released our beliefs from childhood. We’re children in adult bodies. [I still believe I have no self-determination, maybe because I numbed out and gave up self-determination and let others control my life ever since then.]

It’s hard to get a start on the Way to God because our most painful emotional experiences are going to be the first ones we feel.

The reasons I want addictions are related to our childhood beliefs. We feel these are the most painful sets of beliefs, and they often are. They are quite emotional because they were formed pre-intellectually.

There is a lot of general rage about the deconstruction of a myth.

The only way a childhood belief is released is by feeling it. But we totally believe they are true, so why would we feel them?

We have to feel our actual childhood beliefs, not what we want our beliefs to be.

The only way to progress forward now is to feel these childhood beliefs – not to hear more Divine Truth. These feelings are trapped emotions in our soul, and they determine our belief systems.

The mind is only capable of changing when there is no emotional impediment to the change.

The majority of people who hear the Divine Truth are not releasing their false beliefs. We have to FEEL the painful feelings.

No change can happen from listening to Divine Truth if we don’t feel and release the false beliefs. We can’t avoid feeling the most painful feelings, if we want to progress. We can’t choose to just feel the easier ones.

Watch the video How the Human Soul Functions over and over and over.

You need to feel the truth of your experience in this life if you are ever going to progress.

WHAT DO I ACTUALLY FEEL FROM MY CHILDHOOD?

These are the feelings that are opposing the truth entering your soul.

As you feel these feelings you will begin to see the connections to your addictions.

1) What do I believe from my childhood?
2) What do I do to avoid feeling these childhood beliefs? (my addictions)

It is important to ask both questions. There will be a thousand childhood beliefs and often many addictions covering each belief. The beliefs we are able to state and name without crying are the ones we have the most addictions covering.

The goal is to discover what is covering our childhood beliefs and start FEELING the childhood beliefs.

While you’re living in addictions, no feelings will come out. When you deconstruct the addictions enough, the feelings will pop out.

Why? Because your addictions are the exercise of your will to deny your childhood emotional experiences. If you’re exercising your will to deny, you’re exercising your will in direct opposition to what God’s Love would do. When you’re in addiction, your prayer is: No, I don’t want to confront my childhood emotional experiences.

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