The Arizona Learning Center


Last Saturday four people met at the Arizona Learning Center to plan and begin projects there. Enrique Garcia, Frank Mistretta, Robert Majors, and Robert’s friend Billy constructed the first of many planned fertility holes, surveyed the land, and came up with strategies they hope to work on in the near future. The projects they’d like to do include building a pavilion for classes, installing water tanks, building a cob oven and rocket stoves, and constructing a shower that’s heated by passing a coil through a compost heap.

The land is located about 20 minutes northeast of Seligman, AZ, off Route 66. The biggest city nearby is Kingman, AZ, and the center is about three hours from Las Vegas. Frank Mistretta owns the land.


Fertility holes or piles are intended to provide the basic needs of life for bacteria, fungus, microbes, soil-based creatures, plants, and above-ground and airborne creatures (primary recovery organisms), as a first step in creating a loving ecosystem. You can learn to make them (and other permaculture and living fertility projects) at the Kyabra Learning Center’s website (in the links at right) – look under Projects or Experiments.


Next month there will be another event at the learning center, to check the fertility pile and do more planning, and AJ and Mary may tour the land. If it’s not too cold, this might be an overnight camping trip. Or, people could stay in Seligman in order to get two days of work done. If you’d like to participate, contact Enrique on Facebook or by email.


My spirit friend Lindsay

I’m processing some emotions now so might not post as often as usual … I am aiming for a new post each day, but when I’m processing, or very busy in daily life, that might not happen. I am both very busy and processing now, but for whatever reason, I still feel a strong desire to tell the story of how a spirit who was overcloaking me for a long time moved on.

Lindsay is a spirit that was with me – overcloaking me, I guess – probably most of my life. I feel that she was protecting me from feelings and memories, starting when I was very young. I believe we had a strong rapport and were so similar in our personalities and injuries that I couldn’t tell the difference between her and myself.

I’ve always (as long as I can remember) had feelings of confusion about who I am, what I want, how I feel. Because my parents were very shut down emotionally, and I was very sensitive as a child and had a strong desire to please, I didn’t develop a great sense of self. So these feelings of not knowing myself were/are based in my injuries but also came from tons of spirit influence. I often also had a “marionette” feeling … hard to describe, but like I wasn’t controlling my own body. That makes a lot of sense now.

Over the past few years I’ve become more willing and desirous to feel my feelings. I feel that at the same time Lindsay was growing, too … like I said, she and I were probably so alike that she felt similar desires to know the truth and feel her feelings.

Last spring I had some conversations with my husband about earthbound spirits, mainly wondering, how can a person possibly not know they’re dead? We talked about why a spirit might not understand that, we tried to imagine how it would feel to be without a material body but not knowing why, and talked about the resistance and denial that a person might feel about the truth that they have passed. I feel now that these conversations came from Lindsay’s desire to know the truth and helped her understand that she had passed.

A few weeks later, I visited some family out of town and had a lot of time to myself to feel and process. When I was alone one day, I began to have terrible feelings of fear and confusion. They were like the feelings I’d had before of not knowing who I am, but they were much stronger, extremely distressing, and there was also something I hadn’t felt before – a suspicion and terror that I was not who I had always thought I was … that actually I might not be Patricia! That I might actually be a spirit who was overcloaking this body, and therefore I might be dead! It was extremely spooky and terrifying. But I felt strongly that this might be true, and I prayed and prayed about it.

A few days later I met David Kelso and mentioned all this to him. He said, “Oh yes … there is a spirit with you, and her name is Lindsay. Do you want to talk to her? You could channel her.”

I had never spoken to a spirit that way and was afraid to. But we sat down and I connected to her and suddenly was sobbing. We talked to her a little bit and David explained that I didn’t want to be protected anymore and wanted to feel my own feelings now. Lindsay said “I do too.” David connected her with some bright spirits and she went with them.

It so happened that some male spirits who were also hanging around me saw this happen, and they came immediately afterward and wanted help, too, so David spoke to them and helped them connect with bright spirits also.

After that it was much easier for me to feel my feelings, and I’ve made much more progress. I don’t have those weird feelings of not knowing who I am – I’m much more certain of my desires and longings, for one thing – and that marionette feeling is gone. I feel that Lindsay has made good progress too, although some of her processing has been very hard for her.

I hope this story might be helpful to other people (mortal and spirits) who desire to grow and be in truth.


Jesus’s comments on fear and emotional processing in Philadelphia

This past weekend Jesus and Mary (AJ Miller and Mary Luck) spoke in Philadelphia. The audio and video will be online eventually, but Michael Bailey, who attended, was kind enough to post some of his notes on Facebook. I’m reposting his notes, because this is such valuable material. Many thanks, Michael!

From Michael:

It’s impossible to summarize a talk with so many gems! But I want to share some of Jesus’ comments on fear and emotional processing from his closing statements Sunday, Oct. 20, particularly because of their value to those who will see them in San Diego and Texas. Text is taken from informal recording made in audience. ~Mike Bailey

Jesus told the Philadelphia audience that he and Mary are trying to be more frank and honest about what is in us. If we are willing to know, and they feel this in us, they will try to share more truth, so we can confront what is going on inside ourselves.

He said that many people are going to be confronted and won’t want to come again. They’ve seen this happen in England and Greece. But it’s OK with him and Mary, as they are not trying to build a following. They are just interested in sharing truth. It is not their desire to feed the addictions of the people in their audiences.

He said, “The reality is, truth can be very confronting and it’s going to trigger a lot of your fears.”

[Personally, I (Mike) have had anxiety about what Jesus will say to me in Texas, because there’s plenty to confront in me! (Ya know??) But we had just heard Mary spend two hours detailing how Jesus exemplifies divine love and how she responded to the intensity of living with him for these past six years, and Jesus had just given us a cool strategy for dealing with our fears, which I will summarize at the end of this note. And so I felt confident Sunday rather than afraid. He understands, and doesn’t judge us. He said that when confronted by truth, we will either rebel or accept it. He wants to help us to accept it, and he gave the following suggestions.]

“What I encourage you to do, particularly those of you considering coming to Texas, is to come with a very open heart and be willing to listen to some of the feedback that we give. You’re going to find a lot of the things we say quite confronting … and not everyone’s going to be very happy.

“So allow that process to continue. If you feel anger, feel the anger. If you feel like rebelling, feel the rebellion. Don’t avoid the feelings that are involved in the process of hearing truth. Because if you avoid the feelings, no progress can actually occur.

“So what I’d encourage you to do is, feel the feelings rather than avoid the situations.”

And Mary said, “Embrace whatever opportunity you have to receive truths, to see yourself. Totally embrace those things, and then just be humble to what you feel in those situations.” She had done this in her relationship with Jesus and she said she’s changed from being a hard, angry, rebellious woman to a person who is not only softer, but now has a desire for truth.

Jesus continued:

“This is what we need to be aware: There will be addictions inside of you that you do not want to address, and … what you choose to do with that is going to cause you to either rebel or go into acceptance and go through some emotions.

“What I’d encourage you to do is, when you feel that feeling of rebellion, start to see it as just a feeling of rebellion, rather than something I did (to you). … I’m not trying to harm you here, what I’m trying to do is help you become more loving and truthful and have a much happier life. That’s all I’m trying to do. I know very firmly that I know the way that that can happen, because I’ve personally experienced that way. And what I’m encouraging you to do is follow the same way, the same method, if you like. I’m not encouraging you to follow me — I don’t need you to do what we do, but I do wish (that) in a year’s time … I’d love to see a happier group of people who feel more love for each other, feel more love for God, feel that their lives have changed, feel like their situation has improved, feel like they have less fears.

“How that happens is completely up to yourselves. I have very little to do with it, aside from sharing some truth with you. The rest of the work is completely up to you.

“What I encourage you to do is to do the work, rather than just as soon as you get something confronted, run away.”

And in closing, Jesus and Mary thanked the Philadelphia audience for its openness and desire to discover more truths. “We would definitely enjoy seeing you guys again.” He did note there were just a few times when we shut down emotionally. One of the times was when we were discussing personal responsibility. “There was a heavy shutdown at that point, which shows that many of you don’t want to take personal responsibility,” he said.

[NOTE: The preceding text condenses 16 minutes of closing remarks, so be sure to listen to the official Divine Truth recording when it’s released to get the full story. The following text summarizes 11 minutes just before the closing remarks, with some paraphrasing.]

Jesus was presenting his strategy for dealing with fear. On the white board, he drew a scale of our emotions. The vertical axis was level of fear associated with any emotion and the horizontal axis was length of time before we process the emotion. The plotted line rose at a 45-degree angle, indicating that minor fears take little time to process and major fears take much time to process.

Jesus said that most people tackle minor fears first, leaving big fears for later. He encourages us instead to actively deal with the emotion that we currently identify as our largest fear right now, because releasing it would change many aspects of our lives straightaway.

(Mary said, with regard to addictions, if you’re wondering which is the most important one to start with, go with the one that is the most scary to challenge. That’s the rapid way to grow.)

Jesus said:

“If you can find the fear that is the largest one that you’ve identified, and instead of dealing with it in two years’ or 10 years’ time, or wait for the Law of Attraction to create some events that make you deal with it, bring it forward and do it now.

“What will happen is your life will significantly change very rapidly. You will rapidly speed up your own progression by focusing on the largest fear that you know of. (There are fears you don’t know of that are even greater.) You will speed up your progression so rapidly, that your whole life will change rapidly as a result. It will give you control over how fast you progress. The people who progress most slowly are those who choose to deal with their smallest fears first, and it’s only when they ‘feel ready,’ as they say, that they deal with the next fear.

“If you know you have a fear, bring that fear forward to now, feel through it, work on it, put some effort into doing the work on it, and let yourself feel it, because that will cause so much healing of your life and also create so much joy. Once those biggest fears go, desires of all kinds start coming out of you that you never knew you had before.

“So do it now. Don’t wait for events to catch up with you. Deal with the fear that has the biggest potential positive effect on your life.

“If we address the fears that dominate our lives first, the little fears will feel like nothings. … The people who deal with their big fears first, progress more rapidly, they become happier faster, they enjoy more of God’s love as a result if they long for it, and their life changes more rapidly. You can meet them one year and again the next year, and their whole life is different.

“The psychology of fear is, these big fears are the ones that we spend our whole lives trying to prevent. So I suggest that if your life is not changing rapidly, things aren’t improving rapidly, relationships aren’t improving rapidly, it’s because you want to do the gradual little things, the little fear that you can manage every time. Once you do these big things, process through them, you can see logically it will have a huge impact on your life in so many areas.

“What I like about dealing with these big ones, too, is they affect your life in so many areas, and once removed, your life will improve in almost every area; but these little fears usually only affect your life on one area. So if you remove them, it’s only that one area that changes. It still needs to be removed, too, but once you have faced and felt this (large) fear, how easy will it be to deal with this (small) one. It will be like a molehill in comparison, and that’s what it will feel like in comparison to these large ones.

“What I’ve done with my fears is, I list them in order of how big they are inside of myself and I focus on the biggest ones first, because I find that if I don’t, my life will change very slowly. I don’t know about you, but I like my life changing rapidly.

“Understand that obviously, whenever we have opposing feelings occurring within us, we have certain fears and certain addictions in play, and don’t be surprised if some of the things you think are good about yourself actually have a lot of addictions in them, and don’t be surprised if some of the things you think are bad about yourself actually also have a lot of purity in them.

“In the end, that’s the kind of thing God will show you through the process.”

Cry out!

Soon I’ll be posting about the learning centers in Cushnie (AUS) and Arizona (USA) – both have just held events. And I’ll be posting one of my favorite vegan kale recipes, as soon as I can get a good picture! I’ve got plans to tell you about some fascinating books on nature, and I’ll start a series called “People in their Passion.” (I’m loving writing this blog!)

While I get those pieces together – although I know poetry doesn’t appeal to everyone! – I will leave you with Rumi.

A dragon was pulling a bear into its terrible mouth.

A courageous man went and rescued the bear.
There are such helpers in the world,
who rush to save
anyone who cries out. Like Mercy itself,
they run toward the screaming.

And they can’t be bought off.
If you were to ask one of those, “Why did you come
so quickly?” He or she would say, “Because I heard
your helplessness.”

Where lowland is,
that’s where water goes. All medicine wants
is pain to cure.

And don’t just ask for one mercy.
Let them flood in. Let the sky open under your feet.
Take the cotton out of your ears, the cotton
of consolations, so you can hear the sphere-music. . . .

Give your weakness
to One Who Helps.

Crying out loud and weeping are great resources.
A nursing mother, all she does
is wait to hear her child.

Just a little beginning-whimper,
and she’s there.

God created the child, that is, your wanting,
so that it might cry out, so that milk might come.

Cry out! Don’t be stolid and silent
with your pain. Lament! And let the milk
of Loving flow into you.

The hard rain and wind
are ways the cloud has
to take care of us.

Be patient.
Respond to every call
that excites your spirit.

Ignore those that make you fearful
and sad, that degrade you
back toward disease and death.

— Jelaluddin Rumi in Mathnawi II, 
translated by Coleman Barks

(Rumi was a poet in 13th-century Persia. His works are considered by some to be among the greatest mystical poetry.)

Another movie suggestion: Captain Phillips

Tom Hanks plays Richard Phillips, captain of a container ship sailing from Oman around the Horn of Africa for Mumbai. Off the coast of Ethiopia, “pirates” – actually, just four armed villagers – board the ship and take control, in order to get money from the shipping line’s insurance carrier. The sailors fight the pirates and get control of the ship back, but the pirates take Captain Phillips hostage when they escape on a lifeboat. Eventually Navy SEALS arrive and rescue Phillips, taking the leader of the Ethiopians into custody and killing the rest.

There’s not much subtext to this film, though there is an effort to create understanding and compassion for the pirates, who are just poor villagers being influenced, through their fear, by another level of criminals.

This movie triggered lots of fear for me, of having my space invaded, of angry men, of guns, physical violence, and of being surrounded by people in anger and fear.

I saw it with my husband and a friend, who both enjoy movies about violent conflict where the “good guys” “win.” My husband strongly values the ability to defend himself physically, and our friend is involved in law enforcement and national defense. I was feeling rather smug and superior to them, when I realized that both our friend’s wife and MYSELF are in lots of fear and are addicted to being protected and kept “safe” by our men. So although she and I avoid this kind of movie and judge our husbands for enjoying them, we are actually feeding a load of emotion into supporting our husbands’ fear-based responses to violence.

Movie suggestions: Flight and Gravity

Denzel Washington plays Whip Whitaker, an airline pilot who is addicted to alcohol, drugs, and sex. He has already lost his marriage and son because of his addictions. When the passenger jet that he is flying malfunctions and enters a dive that will kill everyone on board, Washington doesn’t panic. He makes an incredible midair maneuver, and in the resulting less severe crash landing, six die. Washington is credited with saving the lives of 131 people, and he is treated as a hero. But if the rest of the truth comes out – that he was drunk and high during that flight – he’ll lose his reputation and his career and will go to prison. Triggers relate to airplane crash, loss of loved ones, addiction to alcohol, addiction to drugs, addiction to sex, addiction to career, abandonment, being in truth, and paternal expectations. (2012, R)

Sandra Bullock plays Ryan Stone, a scientist on a mission in space. Ryan and Matt Kowalsky (George Clooney) are on a routine spacewalk when their shuttle is destroyed and they are stranded in space. Soon they are separated and Kowalsky dies. The rest of the movie follows Ryan as she works to get back to Earth safely on her own. Amid the action we learn that her young daughter had died four years earlier in a playground accident, and with this revelation the movie becomes a metaphor for Ryan’s withdrawal from life. She experiences loads of terror, which seems to help her move forward emotionally. This movie offers intense triggers for fear of abandonment and being alone, fear of things going wrong, fear of falling, and emotions around losing a child. (2013, PG13)

Abdominal breathing to access emotions

AJ recommends abdominal breathing as a regular practice to help us access stored emotions. Abdominal breathing means breathing deeply into the abdomen. We do this for as long as it takes, with the intention of feeling whatever comes up.

The first time I tried this, I had to do it for about 20 minutes before I began feeling things – but that was probably because my intention was not set. I thought the breathing would do all the work itself and pry these emotions up out of me whether I wanted them or not. I learned that I need to have a desire to feel them. (I did have muscle aches the next day – it was probably a pretty good back exercise!)

I feel it’s important while doing this activity to just accept and feel whatever comes up, not to try to analyze or judge it or wonder what the heck is going on. Just feel it.

You can breathe abdominally while lying down – just focus on breathing deeply into your abdomen.

It’s really good to breathe abdominally when you are feeling fear.